A while ago, I asked some people what skills they thought would make men more interesting to women. The answers I got back varied, and I’ve written about some of them already on this website, such as:
- Developing your ability to write love letters
- Being able to cook
- Learning the art of mastering money
- Learning how to be confident but not egotistic
- Learning how to give in a conversation
Following are 7 more answers that I got back. Some are from men, some are from women, but all are interesting.
WHAT IS A SKILL THAT MEN CAN DEVELOP TO BE MORE INTERESTING TO WOMEN?
1. STICKING WITH YOUR PASSION
I think that one of the most important things that a man can do to “make himself attractive” is to find something that he’s passionate about and be true to it.
For example, when I got together with my now-husband, he was CRAZY about aviation. Still is. I had no knowledge of airplanes and aviation, and honestly never cared about it. But I admired his complete dedication to the subject. For the last 12 years that I’ve known him, he’s remained immersed in the topic and while it still isn’t my “thing,” I do find it interesting.
So guys need to be true to their passions, even if they don’t initially think it will “impress” a girl. If you’re addicted to Crossfit or some other sporting activity, own it! If you like puppeteering, own it! Guys would be surprised what girls think is interesting and attractive.
If the girl really doesn’t like your hobby, you shouldn’t be together anyway. If she’s interested in listening but not joining, it’s great conversation. But you never know, she may want to get involved, and it’s now something you can do together.
2. COMMUNICATING, COOKING, DANCING, AND SELF-CONTROL
From my experience, valuable skills that men should develop to become more attractive to women include:
1. Communication. Learning how to be a good communicator. This could be learning how to really listen and participate in other people’s interests. Ask questions, listen and talk about your life experiences similar to theirs. Do not tell them how to live their lives, but rather listen and talk about your own experiences.
2. Cooking. Learn how to cook 7 great meals. Being a cook will always impress a woman. The fact is everyone loves food and we all need it. Cooking beautiful meals for your partner is an expression of caring and also is an event. Instead of going out for dinner, why not spoil that someone special by cooking them a meal in a personal space. This will show that you are responsible and can look after not only yourself but them also.
3. Dancing. Learn how to dance. Most women love dancing, but even if they don’t – they love a man that can dance. Some great dancing styles are Salsa and Ceroc. Both are pretty easy to learn and common enough for you to find a local club where you can pick up the skills quickly. You will only need to learn 5 dance moves that you can experiment with and term into a fun little routine to show off on the dance floor.
4. Self Control. Learn how to manage your behaviour. This is probably the most important skill to attain as a human being. Managing your behaviour involves learning how to control your actions in a way that does not affect others negatively. This can also mean learning how to be happy and stay positive in most situations. One of the most unattractive traits of a human is not being able control your emotions doing difficult situations. This could be in the form of anger, aggression and making fun of other people.
3. LEARNING HOW TO SMILE
I am a certified image consultant and personal branding expert, I speak on this subject often. One of the smallest ways to be more attractive is actually to smile more. Studies have shown that men come out of the womb programmed to not smile as much as women and is actually something they need to work on (while women sometimes need to smile less depending on the situation). Again, small but incredibly impactful.
4. MAINTAINING A HOBBY
When I first read this, I’ll admit I pictured a variation of the guy on Brawny paper towels, chopping away at firewood. Of course, having neither fireplace nor wood burning stove, this wouldn’t be a valuable skill to have in terms of attraction.
However, what is really attractive is having a hobby.
Even if that hobby is competing in lumberjack competitions, having a devoted hobby outside of the norm is highly appealing. In addition, being able to talk about that skill or pass-time in social settings is the icing on the cake in terms of being interesting.
To sum it up, find something you love, than figure out how to talk about it with others.
5. CREATING VS CONSUMING
For me, what I find attractive in a partner is their ability to create something vs. simply consuming. So many of us are pure consumers — after grabbing our takeout on the way home, we binge – watch our way through Netflix, wander aimlessly around Reddit or Facebook, or lose ourselves in our music collection. Not that these things are a bad thing, but what value are you adding?
One of the things I find most attractive about my boyfriend is that he writes music — he is an electronic composer, and with synthesizers can create every part of a song. But I can see myself finding that same attraction in someone who can write or tell a good story, or cook an amazing meal, or even craft a clever original joke. It’s the creativity, the spark of something completely original that draws me.
6. THE ABILITY TO BE ENGAGING!
Engage your date. Talk to her…and listen.
Try this: Don’t think about what you want her to know about you, or even what you want to know about her. Siblings, where you were raised, etc. Boring. I think the best connections spring from conversation. Take her to a museum and talk. Or for a walk in the park. Play catch. You don’t have to pull out all the stops with an expensive dinner and a movie – those are horrible settings for natural conversation.
I’d rather go grocery shopping with an interesting woman than on a dinner date.
7. AVOIDING BEING FAKE AND SUPERFICIAL
I’m not sure women are looking for skills at all. In my experience they are looking for respect.
But, I will list a few anyway. Kissing, cooking, listening, the ability to dominate a room.
Some might add things like driving, riding a horse, or being able to do 1000 one handed push ups with someone sitting on his back, but these are all superficial skills and will only attract superficial women.
SO WHAT SKILLS SHOULD A MAN DEVELOP TO BE MORE INTERESTING TO WOMEN?
I think that what you will see in the above answers is that it what makes a man interesting to one person is not the same as what makes a man interesting to another person. It all depends on the woman, the man, and the type of relationship they are going to have.
That said, developing skills and becoming well-rounded is always going to make you more interesting to women. Never stop growing as a person.
In addition, focus on skills that interest you, not skills that you think women want to see. That will help you stay authentically unique and interesting to a woman meant for you.